i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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