So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
