I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
