I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
