I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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