Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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