yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
