if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
bring money and cleavage
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
