A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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