I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
smell my finger.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
