I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
