my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
This is the high leading the old right now
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
