If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
