You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
