you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
