I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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