Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(224): View more from Illinois

So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?

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(240): View more from Maryland

We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer

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(734): View more from Michigan

My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...

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(540): View more from Virginia

I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

either way he was missing a nipple.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox

(1-248): View more from Michigan

You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going

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(408): View more from California

Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried

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