we have officially lost it.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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