A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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