I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
