I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
