i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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