I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
