is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
