What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just found puke in my bra..
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
