DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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