I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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