mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
