his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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