Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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