Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's never too late to be topless.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
