remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
