where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
