I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
