I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
