i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Randomize
