You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize