I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
