I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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