I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
