Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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