Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
