is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
