Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize