She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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