btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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