69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
