May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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