It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
A bitchslap is in order.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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