I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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