yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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