I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
