Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
