How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
