Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Damn victory sex feels great
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
