There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
