So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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