it wasn't lemon gatorade
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
