Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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